Reality Check

I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to acknowledge that something hard is going to happen until I have no other choice but to deal with it. I try my best to just be happy and deal with the fact that he's going to leave, because there's nothing I can do about it, so why be miserable about it? It's starting to hit me that he's going to be leaving for a year. And yes, it's going to freakin suck. He's going to miss the birth of our little girl, and the first year of her life. I'm going to be left to raise two kids under two by myself. Yes I'll have family around that I know will do anything to help, but they're not Taft. We talk about things I want to do when I'm home, but all I can think is, how am I going to do that with two kids? When I need a break, it's not like I can just leave them with Dad. I can't have a late night and let Dad wake up with them while I sleep in cause he won't be there. He won't be there to bless her. He won't be there to pick me up out of the bathtub when I'm too huge to get out by myself, or help me get my shoes on and off, or hold me when I have one of my hormonal melt downs. I'm starting to feel just a LITTLE bit overwhelmed with everything if you can't tell. But you have to keep on the brave face of the military wife that can do and handle anything thrown her way, so I figured I'd get it all out there now and be done with it and move on. I know not alot of people read this, but here are some words of warning for those that will see me while Taft is gone:

• When you ask how I am and I say fine, leave it at that. Don't keep asking "but how are you REALLY doing?". If I feel like talking, I will. Please don't pry.
• Don't ask if it's hard to have him gone, and if I'm scared or worried or whatever. Common sense people!
• Don't try and compare your husband being gone on a weekend business trip to a husband being gone fighting in a war zone, that's being bombed and shot at. Yes it's always hard when your spouse leaves, but they're not the same situations.
• DO feel free to come take my children from me anytime :). I hate asking for help, but if you just show up and offer it, I most likely won't resist. The same goes for making me get out of the house and do something fun for myself. Especially if you come bearing Diet Coke.

Thanks for letting me vent.